Baker's Theory

Hawaiian Granola

February 15, 2021 by Alex

Hope you all had a nice Valentine’s Day! Jim and I made Italian beef sandwiches and watched Valentine’s Day the movie. Thankfully the sandwiches were great because the movie was terrible! We still had a fun time hanging out together, though.

Recently I ran out of exfoliator and had to replenish the supply. I thought I’d try out the St. Ives Coffee Coconut, and it smelled so good when I put it on that I seriously wanted to eat it. It reminded me of Hawaii and I knew I’d need to make something coffee and coconut flavored immediately. Not sure which recipe would absorb my newest obsession, but I kept it in mind over the next few days.

For Valentine’s Day, I sent my mom Russian teacakes and chocolate-covered raspberry marshmallows, and then she gently reminded me that I forgot to send her granola for her yogurt. And then it clicked! The vehicle for my coffee coconut extravaganza revealed itself. Well, the first of many, I hope. I’m thinking a cookie will be next…

I could eat this crunchy granola all by itself. In fact, I do while I prepare my breakfast. I think it would be great as a homemade cereal but I didn’t make enough to pour a whole cup in a bowl! Too precious!

I like to top my Noosa yogurt with this granola and a handful of blueberries! I also just eat it by the spoonful. This recipe calls for almonds, but you can also use macadamia nuts for a full Hawaiian treat!

The key is making sure it is dried after baking. The butter adds a lot of moisture, and sometimes more is needed to fully coat the oats. If you don’t bake off all of the water, the granola might taste a bit stale after a day! The granola needs to bake long enough that the water in the butter evaporates. That will give a nice crunch to the granola.

Hawaiian Granola

Coffee coconut granola perfect as a homemade cereal or a crunchy topping to yogurt.

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Prep Time 5

Cook Time 30

Total Time 35

Course Breakfast

Servings 3 cups

Ingredients

8 tbsp Salted butter melted
2 cups Dried rolled oats uncooked
6½ tbsp Brown sugar packed
1 tbsp Instant coffee powder heaping
¾ tsp Coconut extract
½ cup Sliced raw almonds
½ cup Unsweetened coconut chips

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 350°F / 175°C.
Melt butter in a large, microwave-safe bowl. Once melted, add all other ingredients, stirring to coat oats completely.
Spread oats onto a parchment lined jelly roll pan. Bake for 15 minutes, stirring half way.
Lower the oven temperature to 300°F / 150°C and continue baking an additional 10 minutes.
Remove pan from oven and allow to cool, about 30 minutes. Clusters will form once cooled.

Keyword coffee coconut, granola topping, homemade cereal, yogurt topping

8 Things You Didn’t Know About Chocolate

February 14, 2021 by Alex

Swiss, Belgian, Dutch. Ecuadorian, Columbian, Ugandan. Where does chocolate even come from? What is fair trade chocolate? What does it mean if its Dutch processed cocoa? How is cocoa different from cacao? And what the heck is a nib?

#1: Cacao is the pod and seeds

Cacao is the raw, plant form of chocolate and is harvested from a cacao tree. The tree’s scientific name is Theobroma cacao which translates to “food of the gods” in Greek. Theobromine, a stimulant, is one of the molecules in cacao that gives you energy, similar to caffeine. Ancient Mayan civilizations would provide cacao seeds to their warriors to keep them alert for fighting.

Cacao trees prefer warm, dark growing conditions and thrive in the Amazon, where the plant originates. World wide, cacao trees generally grow well within 15 degrees north or south of the equator. Early conquerors of the Americas transplanted cacao trees to Africa and later southeast Asia where the climate better suited the crop.

The cacao tree matures in about four to six years. Flowering is a sign of reaching maturity, and once they begin flowering, they will do so year round. These flowers grow into cacao pods, and after five months of growth, the pods are ready to harvest. They are almost (American) football-sized at this time.

Cacao pods grow at the base of the cacao tree and come in many resplendent colors like red, yellow, green, and purple, to attract animals that will spread its seeds. They are harvested by hand with the help of machetes. Many of the laborers harvesting cacao are children, but fair trade chocolate organizations are trying to stop this practice.

Once cacao pods are gathered by laborers, they are brought to a local processing house and split open to reveal pods covered in a sweet, tart, and juicy white pulp. The pulp and seeds they cover are pulled out of the pod and set on a tarp under banana leaves to ferment outside for one week. The pulp is then removed and the remaining seeds are uncovered and set in the sun to dry for another week.

The fermented and dried seeds are next shipped to chocolate factories in developed countries to be processed further. The insides of the seeds contain cacao nibs that can be pressed into various chocolate products.

#2: Cacao trees are indigenous to South America

Cacao trees originated in the Amazon Rainforest, likely 15,000 years ago. However, it did not emerge in the human diet until around 3,000 years ago when the Olmec civilization began developing its complex processing. They would ferment, dry, and grind the seeds into a powder to combine with pulverized maize, chiles, and water for consumption as an opulent beverage called xocolatl. Yet, the Olmecs lived in southern Mexico, approximately 2,600 miles away from the Amazon Rainforest. Thus cacao must have traveled through some means to reach the ancient Olmecs. Since the cacao tree grows best within 15 degrees of the equator, it likely came to the Olmecs by human hands rather than natural pollination.

#3: Cacao was brought to Europe by Spanish conquistadors

On his trips to the Americas, Christopher Columbus encountered people native to the Indies called the Taino. Upon conquering these people, one encounter describes how Columbus’ crew discovered dried cacao seeds which the Taino seemed to value greatly. Unbeknownst to the conquistadors, cacao seeds were used as currency for the Taino, Mayans, and Aztecs. Later seeing the potential value in these seeds (perhaps money could grow on trees…?), Columbus returned to Spain with them. But the bitter taste did not impress the Spaniards.

Twenty years later, Hernan Cortes would conquer the Aztec empire whose last emperor, Montezuma II, allegedly drank gallons of the invigorating cacao beverage called xocolatl (pronounced sho-ko-lah-tul) every day. In contrast to Columbus’ experience, Cortes and his conquistadors welcomed this xocolatl beverage by adding honey or sugar to it to make it more drinkable. This time, cacao’s return to Spain would be better received.

For one hundred years, Spain would keep its chocolate a national secret while it built up plantations throughout Central and South America. However, cacao, being more inclined to the chaotic jungle floor, did not thrive in large plantations and swiftly fell prey to disease. Even today, between 30-50% of the world’s cacao is unusable due to disease.

Cacao made its popular European debut in the mid 17th century when Spanish princess, Maria Teresa wed King Louis XIV of France, introducing her beloved chocolate drink to the French court. At this time, chocolate was still primarily consumed as a beverage. The fermented and dried beans from the Americas were ground up and mixed with water, sugar, and spices.

#4: Dutch processed cocoa has been alkalized

As chocolate exploded throughout Europe, chocolate experts began to emerge. The 1800s were an important and bustling time for chocolate’s transformation into the delightful bars recognized today. The standard procedure for making chocolate was to ferment and dry the cacao seeds, and then grind them to be mixed with water. However, this ground up mixture of cacao seeds (also known as cacao mass) was gritty and did not dissolve easily in water. Coenraad Johannes van Houten, a Dutch chemist with an interest in chocolate, found that treating the cacao mass with alkaline salts allowed them to dissolve more easily. Cacao is naturally acidic, and alkalizing it brought it to a neutral pH. Thus, Dutch processed chocolate was born.

Recipes that call for natural cocoa differ from those that call for Dutched cocoa, and they will react differently to leavening agents such as baking soda and powder.

van Houten is also credited with inventing the chocolate press. Every cacao pod contains around 70 seeds. After the seeds have fermented in pulp and dried, the seeds are sent to the processor. The seeds contain cacao nibs which are gritty to eat and contain both cocoa butter and cocoa mass. van Houten’s chocolate press was able to push the creamy cacao butter out of the nibs and retain the powdery cocoa mass that is what people use today in baking. Cocoa butter can be reintroduced into the mass with dairy and sugar to create all sorts of chocolatey treats, or it can be utilized in cosmetics.

#5: Lindt & Nestle were scientists who advanced chocolate processing

By the late 19th century, chocolate transformed again through Rodolphe Lindt’s conching invention. The Swiss inventor developed the machine to better incorporate and distribute cocoa butter with cocoa powder through heating and grinding.

Anecdotes from the Lindt & Sprungli company suggest Lindt accidentally left the machine on overnight. The result was a silky chocolate product with better melting properties and very smooth texture. Today high quality chocolate is conched for around 72 hours while lower quality chocolate is conched for around six hours.

Around the same time the chocolate conch entered the scene, another Swiss chocolate enthusiast, Daniel Peter, sought out the help of his neighbor, a specialist in dairy and infant formulas, to stabilize the introduction of milk into chocolate. The neighbor and specialist was Henri Nestle, who was working on producing infant formula to supplement mother’s milk from cow’s milk. Together, Peter and Nestle created the original Swiss milk chocolate by combining dried milk powder with cocoa butter, mass, and sugar and established the Nestle company.

#6: Fair trade chocolate focuses on labor rights where cacao grows

As early as the 1600s when chocolate finally made its way to the first coffee house in London, there were those who were uneasy about the ethics of the crop. Quakers of the time were the largest proponents of raising standards for laborers involved in cacao.

African slaves were brought to the West Indies and the Americas to work on cacao plantations. By the mid-1800s, though, many chocolate manufacturers were forced to source their cacao more ethically.

Problems still exist today, however, especially in Cote d’Iviore in western Africa, where cacao trees have made a second home after the Amazon. Child laborers aged 10-15 work to collect cacao pods and deliver them to local processing houses rather than attend school. Female laborers are paid less than male laborers in these developing countries where the cacao tree thrives best.

Nestle, Mars, and Hershey, all big hitters in the chocolate industry, cannot guarantee that their chocolate does not contain child labor in its supply chain. Despite having certifications for their ethical processes, it is very difficult to trace every bean from every farm.

Purchasing fair trade certified chocolate used to mean consumer dollars were spent on ensuring children were not involved in labor, women were paid equally to men, and cacao farms were tended to sustainably with minimal environmental impact and deforestation. However, these certifications have become diluted, corrupted, and easy to obtain.

Valrohna and Guittard Chocolate are some of the better-known chocolate manufacturers to be commended for their compliance and effort in ending unethical chocolate. Unfortunately, the majority of larger chocolate corporations may be certified for the purpose of good press but do little to change the situation and continue sourcing unethical chocolate.

#7: There are three main types of cacao

There are actually 22 varieties, but the main ones are Criollo, Forastero, and Trinatario. Similar to grapes which can produce such different wines as pinot noir or cabernet sauvignon from the same species of grape, cacao varieties possess different flavor profiles, too. Criollo is the most coveted and rare, producing mild, non-acidic, and chocolatey flavors. Forastero is the most common and inexpensive cacao with a slightly acidic taste. Trinatario is a hybrid of Criollo and Forastero. Good quality chocolate will often come from Trinatario beans, but the best will be pure Criollo or a combination of the two. There is another variety that, similar to Criollo, is extremely rare and highly coveted but is not mass produced, and that is Nacional cacao. Long thought extinct, Nacional is the original cacao that all others stem from and is found in Ecuador and Peru. Forastero cacao makes up the largest percentage of the cacao market because it is the most resistant to disease. It is Forastero cacao that traveled to the Ivory Coast of Africa to yield the chocolate advertised as Ugandan or Ghanan.

#8: M&Ms were the result of friendly competition

M&Ms, the name, is actually an abbreviation for Mars and Murrie. Forest Mars, Sr., son of Mars Chocolate founder, Frank Mars, and Bruce Murrie, son of William Murrie, president of Hershey’s Company at the time, joined forces during World War II to provide a stimulating, heat-resistant, easily transportable chocolate ration for American soldiers. Mars patented the idea, but Hershey had control of chocolate rations in the 1940s, and so the two teamed up. Soldiers were issued M&Ms exclusively during this time.

Cowgirl Brownies

February 12, 2021 by Alex

My cousin Leo asked me a few months ago if I could do a spicy chocolate recipe and I found just the thing recently in studying chocolate. Chocolate and spicy peppers are actually the original ingredients used together in cacao’s history. Ancient Olmecs, Mayans, and Aztecs would prepare a drink called xocolatl (pronounced “sho-ko-lat-ul” …sound familiar?) that contained fermented, dried, and ground cacao nibs with water and dried chilis. Only the elite class, warriors, royalty, and priests were allowed to consume it. The Aztec Emperor Montezuma was known to drink gallons of it daily.

Now a small tangent. My friend Maddie is very health-conscious and shared with me a book called Sweet Laurel. It’s a recipe book that makes use of more whole foods and includes the chocolate cake that “changed everything” according to Laurel, the book’s co-author. Laurel Gallucci has Hashimoto’s disease and had to completely change her diet–a very dramatic life event for someone who loves baking! Maddie lent me her copy, and the next time she came over (for a cheeseburger night–the night she gave me the idea to make croissants) I attempt the chocolate cake that was supposedly life altering.

FYI, I am very wary of “healthy” recipes, especially for desserts. You could call me a snob in this regard. Coconut oil, apple sauce, and quinoa are hard for me to put in a dessert. Ironically, they don’t seem natural. I’m afraid it’ll taste too healthy. But Maddie was quite excited about the book and I wanted to do something nice for her so I gave this chocolate cake a look. The recipe didn’t make a lot of sense to me, and I made quite a few modifications. I’m so snobby! Sorry!

Up to the point that I was cutting into the cake, I was skeptical. I thought, “This is gonna be a wreck.” And then…I was surprised. It was really delicious. And my next thought was, “this would go great with some cayenne pepper.”

For this recipe, I’ve retained the changes I made to Laurel’s original recipe–hers was obviously more cakey and this is definitely more brownie-y. Plus she doesn’t have sugar on the ingredients list and I just couldn’t not have sugar! What’s my problem??!

Now that we’re even more close to Valentine’s Day and I haven’t bombarded you enough with recipes for it, I thought I’d add another into the mix. I also decorated it with a little bit of espresso salt I had on hand from a previous recipe. This is basically equal parts espresso powder and flaky salt, such as Maldon. Totally optional. I find it neutralizes the spiciness a bit!

Cowgirl chocolate is just another word for spicy chocolate, and these cowgirl brownies bring a little sweet and a little heat! Perfect for impressing a fair maiden or Adonis this Valentine’s Day!

One last (unrelated) note about Valentine’s Day. I just have to say I have the best husband in the world. It was -13F this morning and he told me he had to “run an errand,” and he couldn’t tell me where. He came home with a beautiful bouquet of red roses for me. Such a cutie! And a romantic. I am one lucky girl!

I like to use Dutch processed cocoa for this recipe. If you use regular cocoa, add 1 tsp of baking soda to the batter! Dutch processed cocoa is different from regular cocoa in that Dutch processed cocoa has been alkalized. Remember high school chemistry and pH? Low pH = acid, high pH = base (or alkaline). Cocoa is naturally acidic. Baking soda, also known as sodium bicarbonate, or NaOH, is basic. Alkalizing it neutralizes its pH. Baking with Dutch cocoa usually yields a darker, almost black pastry. Pretty cool! Fun fact: Dutch processed cocoa was invented in the mid-19th century to reduce the cost of cocoa. It’s actually the cheaper version of regular cocoa!

Cowgirl Brownies

Cowgirl chocolate has a bit of cayenne pepper in it! Yeehaw! Actually, ancient Mayans and Aztecs prepared a beverage with fermented, dried, and ground up cacao with chili and water. These brownies are like a fudgy cake, if that's possible, and they are gluten free! They are also almost vegan but I don't know what you can substitute for eggs. Maybe unsweetened applesauce? I modified this recipe from the book Sweet Laurel. I also add espresso salt on top but it's completely optional!

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Prep Time 10

Cook Time 40

Total Time 50

Course Dessert

Servings 16

Ingredients

2½ cups Almond flour
⅓ cup Cocoa powder Dutch processed
¼ cup Sugar
¼ tsp Cayenne pepper heaping
1 tsp Instant espresso powder
½ tsp Sea salt
½ cup Semi-sweet chocolate chunks
½ cup Water
⅓ cup Extra virgin olive oil
2 Eggs
¾ cup Maple Syrup can sub equal amount of brown sugar
2 oz Dark chocolate melted

For topping

5 oz Dark chocolate melted
1 tsp Espresso salt (optional) Equal parts instant coffee powder and flakey salt such as Maldon

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350°F / 175°C
Grease an 8" x 8" pan and line it with parchment paper with an overhang. The overhang will allow you to pull the brownies out to frost them.
In a large bowl combine almond flour, cocoa powder, sugar, cayenne pepper, espresso powder, sea salt, and chocolate chips.
Add the olive oil, water, eggs, maple syrup, and melted chocolate. Combine well, ensuring there are no dried bits of powder.
Pour brownie batter into the prepared pan and bake on the top rack of your oven for 40-45 minutes. It should be just past the "jiggly" phase.
Allow brownies to cool completely in the pan. Once cooled, Lift the brownies out of the pan using the parchment paper and place on a cutting board. Cut into 16 equal squares, cleaning the knife between each cut.
For topping, melt the dark chocolate in the microwave, about 1 minute. Place a Ziploc bag inside a cup and invert the top edge of the bag over the cup's rim. This allows you to pour melted chocolate into the bag easily. Scrape the melted chocolate into the Ziploc bag and seal. Snip a small part of the corner off, about 3 mm. Pipe chocolate on each brownie square in a fun pattern. I have done zig zags, hearts, Xs and Os. Then sprinkle with the espresso salt and serve.

Keyword cowgirl chocolate, espresso salt, extra chocolatey brownies, spicy chocolate brownies, Valentine's Day

That TikTok Pasta

February 10, 2021 by Alex

I did my usual run to Trader Joe’s over the weekend. I like to get there when they open because it’s not as crowded and I don’t have to wait in a socially distanced line when it’s -9 degrees outside. I have a very specific procedure when I grocery shop: I only cruise through the perimeter and I avoid the inner aisles with all the pre-baked, pre-processed stuff. Not because I don’t like those things–oh, quite the opposite, really. I’m avoiding the temptation. But produce, meats, dairy, and nuts, sometimes an occasional jar of salsa–those are my main stops. And when I arrived at the dairy part, I could not find any blocks of feta cheese!

I had seen the viral TikTok pasta on Instagram. (I did make a TikTok account for all of 10 minutes but then I chickened out because I am paranoid I’m being hacked by international spies who want my recipes and so I deleted the account…I think. If not, I most definitely did not create an account named Flake Mignon. Not me. … Nope…) So I had to try this pasta!

I asked a nice lady unloading a cart of cheese about 7′ tall (the cart, not her) if she had any feta and she said, “We are completely sold out. None of us saw it coming. By Friday we were totally out of stock.”

Sounded pretty serious. Obviously, I could not back down on this TikTok pasta. But without a feta brick, I had to settle for crumbles. Fortunately, I can go with the flow. In the end, it really didn’t matter. It was the most divine, saucy, tangy-creamy-salty-savory piece of noodle I have ever consumed. I want to dunk my head into a bucket of it. That’s how delicious it was.

Jimmy has his “arsenal,” which is the list of recipes he wants me to make over and over again. I am starting my own armory for my own preferences and this one is at the top!

The recipe is actually super simple to put together. You just need a cast iron skillet. The gist of it is that you dump a pound of cherry tomatoes in the skillet, a roughly chopped onion, some garlic, salt, and A LOT of extra virgin olive oil. Then you put the feta in the center and bake the whole thing for about an hour. The tomatoes will burst and get super jammy and the onions will char and caramelize. The feta will get a little more salty (since you’re evaporating the water from it by roasting it) and a chewy-crumbly texture. It’s like a cheese curd! And then you toss the whole thing with pasta, cream, parmesan cheese, cayenne, and adjust for salt. Ya have to, have to, have to adjust for salt. You keep adding it and sampling until you can taste the spice from the cayenne pepper. That’s how you know it’s sufficiently salted.

Jammy Tomato and Feta Pasta

That TikTok pasta sensation with the block of feta cheese and all of those jammy tomatoes and onions is SO GOOD.

5 from 1 vote

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Prep Time 10

Cook Time 1 10

Total Time 1 20

Course Main Course

Cuisine Mediterranean

Servings 4

Equipment

Cast iron skillet

Ingredients

1 lb Cherry tomatoes whole
1 Yellow onion chopped roughly
5 cloves Garlic minced
6 oz Feta block brine drained (crumbles are fine, too)
1/3 cup Extra virgin olive oil
1 tsp Kosher salt plus more for taste
1/2 lb Dry pasta cooked and drained
1 cup Pasta water reserved
⅛ tsp Cayenne pepper
3 tbsp Heavy whipping cream
1/4 cup Grated Romano cheese

Instructions

Preheat oven to 425°F / 220°C. In a large cast iron skillet combine cherry tomatoes, chopped onions, minced garlic, extra virgin olive oil, and salt. Toss to combine. In the center of the skillet on top of the vegetables, place your block of feta, or if using crumbles, dump them in the center, keeping them packed together. Roast for 35 minutes. Lower heat to 400°F / 200°C and continue roasting for 30 minutes. Tomatoes will burst and onions will char and caramelize.
Shortly after beginning the second roasting at the lower temperature, boil water seasoned with salt. Cook pasta for 10-12 minutes, then reserve 1 cup of the pasta water before draining. Return pasta to the pot.
When vegetables and feta are finished roasting, scrape them out of the cast iron skillet into the pot with the pasta. Add the pasta water, cayenne pepper, heavy cream, and Romano cheese, stirring to combine. Adjust with salt before serving. You will know when you've added the right amount of salt when you taste the heat from the cayenne and the sweet, acidity of the tomatoes.

Keyword feta, jammy tomato, tiktok pasta

V-Day Treats for Your Sweetie

February 10, 2021 by Alex

Not sure what to make this Valentine’s Day? I feel you! We still haven’t decided, either! But whatever we make this year, we are going to do it together! (Maybe that Parisian gnocchi will make a reappearance…?) We are actually going to celebrate together on Saturday night and spend Valentine’s Day evening at Jim’s parents because it’s Sunday Night Dinner and Jane is (likely) going to make beef tenderloin. That’s my favorite!!!

Fun facts about St. Valentine: he was a priest who lived around the third century A.D. and helped Christian couples wed in secret! At the time, it was illegal for soldiers to marry because love and marriage would create a distraction from duty! He is also the patron saint of beekeepers and epilepsy!

Any how, a bunch of things have been changing around my blog lately and I just wanted to have fun with this post by compiling some of our (my Valentine’s and my) favorite foods. I hope it gives you some fun ideas for your own celebration!

I know my sweetie in particular likes his sugary treats, so I think it’s only fitting to eat dessert first and begin with…

For Your Sweet Tooth

Hot Pink Bars

Chocolate Raspberry Marshmallows

Jimmy's S'more Bars

Grapefruit Bars

Cran Brulee

Triple Chocolate Brownies

I have been so pumped for Valentine’s Day desserts this year. Maybe it’s because it’s Jim’s and my first Valentine’s Day together ever? I was in the Philippines with my mom in 2019 and on a work trip in Colorado last year! Anyway, Jim just loves sweets and I love to indulge him. This guy loves sugary things, and shockingly, he is not overweight whatsoever. I am totally jealous. To quote my friend Maddie, “I sniff a cookie and my pants tighten.” Alas, we make exceptions for occasions, right?! You won’t see a chocolate dipped strawberry here, but there are lots of fun, unique, and pink treats for your valentine!

For Your Valentine Brunch Date

Cheddar Cheese Bagels

Double Chocolate Chip Pancakes

Homemade Granola

Savory Waffles for Two

Valentine’s Day falls on a Sunday this year, and I can’t think of a more appropriate time to have brunch. (I also have a weird affection for Sundays. Something about them is very sunny to me.) Brunch is by far my favorite meal of the day! It is delicious AND romantic! In fact, Jim and I had a brunch wedding reception complete with donuts and mimosas…Mmm! What a perfect day! Whether you like the healthier granola and berries, the more indulgent buttery croissant and chocolatey pancakes, or the boozie breakfast cocktails, I have you covered!

When Your True Love is Pasta

When I was scrolling through my website for this post, I realized I had a very high concentration of pasta recipes. This comes as no surprise to me. Pasta was my first love. Mac ‘n’ cheese and I go way back. I threw in my fresh pasta YouTube video for ya, the Marcella Hazan marinara recipe, and one of my signature dishes: the radiant red wine pasta, boiled in red wine.

I love buttery, garlicky carbs. And true love lasts a lifetime. I hope you find *the one* here.

Cheddar Cheese Bagels

February 8, 2021 by Alex

I started out this crazy day with another strength training workout with my pal, Lindsey Bomgren (okay, she answered my question on Instagram once so we’re basically best friends for life) … (just kidding, but I’m a huge fan) on her YouTube channel Nourish, Move, Love. I have been doing strength training for the last five weeks now and it has really transformed my body. Again, kidding. Thank you, 30th birthday. (Did you know women start to lose muscle mass after turning 30?!)

But you know what really transforms my body are carbs. Cheesy carbs! Oh, yum.

I have been working on bagels quite a lot. The results can be inconsistent. Sometimes the dough is too tough or it doesn’t rise, even when I repeat the process exactly the same way as when it worked. I cannot explain it. But I do know this: the cheese bagels work every time.

As you might have already suspected, making bagels is super putzy, but boy, are they special. If you have the time, you’d pick them over Panera any day.

How do you top your bagel? I like to butter the top half and put cream cheese on the bottom half sprinkled with a little bit of Trader Joe’s Everything but the Bagel seasoning on top of the cream cheese. Also, I’m not into sweet-flavored bagels. Chocolate chip, blueberry, or cinnamon crunch bagels are too sugary in the morning for me. I like the savory start to my day. Plus, breakfast sandwiches are supremely upgraded on a savory cheese or everything bagel. You can’t do that with blueberry!

There are a few tricks to making bagels that I go over in the instructions but I will reiterate them here:

You need to knead the dough by hand, at least after the mixer has gotten everything combined. The gluten in the flour really toughens up the dough and you will break your mixer if you let it knead bagel dough. I repeat: You’ll break your mixer! So do not miss this critical hand-kneading step!!
You need bread flour. Don’t substitute all purpose flour. Have you ever gotten a headache in your temples from chewing something really tough? If you want to recreate that feeling, make your bagels with AP flour.
Don’t overproof the dough. Overproofing is when you allow your dough to rise so much that it will deflate when poked or prodded. After you let your bagel dough rise, you have to man-handle it to get it into a boiling pot of water. Manhandling will definitely deflate the dough if it’s overproofed. I let this dough rise once, and only for an hour. To check for overproofiing, poke the dough. Does it start to spring back into place after a few minutes or does it stay dented? An unrecovered dent in your dough means it’s been overproofed. The best fix for overproofed dough is to re-knead and reshape it, and then let it rise again, this time more aware of timing. If you go forward with boiling and baking overproofed bagels, they will be flat, deflated, and lack airiness.

4. Finally, the trick is boiling the bagels in water that contains honey, baking soda, and salt. The honey lends a malty flavor that commercial bagel bakeries use, except they will actually use malt. Use that if you have it! The baking soda will give the bagels a warm brown color. The more you use, the more pretzel-y and alkaline the bagels will taste.

5. Bonus: I tried to make heart-shaped bagels. Didn’t work. You can shape the dough into an Ewok racing the Milennium Falcon, but after the dough rises for an hour, it’s going to be a puffy ball. Sorry.

6. Post Bonus: Prep your baking pans ahead of time. You’ll need two, and put parchment paper on them to minimize cleanup. (It’s not for non-stick purposes. Bagels are naturally non-stick. I just hate scrubbing pans that don’t fit in my sink.) Four bagels per pan. Don’t bake both batches in the same oven at the same time.

7. Actual tip: Don’t forget to brush the dough with egg white after boiling it. It makes the bagels shiny and also helps toppings stick.

Returning to the rest of my day, the great weather today obviously made it the right time to spot two beautiful leather armchairs on Craigslist at laughably low prices and gloriously carry them across our snow-and-ice-laden sidewalks. It was only -9F with the windchill, and these chairs only weighed about 50 million pounds each. But honestly, I don’t think the beautiful Hancock and Moore I’m reclined on right now would have made it here without my mother-in-law spotting the chairs, my husband and friend Maddie hauling them home, my brother-in-law helping move them, or Lindsey Bomgren’s strength conditioning and my bagel-y, carb-y – powered energy shoving them up our stairs. For all of these things, I am eternally grateful.

Hope you enjoy the bagels.

Cheddar Cheese Bagels

Alex

Chewy and soft, slathered in cream cheese, and sprinkled with a little Trader Joe's Everything but the Bagel seasoning and the spot is HIT. The key ingredient: bread flour.

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Prep Time 25

Cook Time 45

Resting Time 1

Total Time 2 10

Course Breakfast

Servings 8

Ingredients

Dough

1 tbsp Instant yeast Dry active yeast will work, too, but make sure to bloom it first.
1½ cups Warm water ~115°F / 45°C
1 tbsp Light brown sugar
1 tbsp Kosher salt
4 cups Bread flour no substitutions
½ cup Shredded cheddar cheese plus more for sprinkling

For boiling and baking

1 tbsp Honey
1 tbsp Kosher salt
1 tsp Baking soda
1 Egg white
Additional shredded cheese for sprinkling

Instructions

In a large bowl or stand mixer bowl combine yeast, warm water, brown sugar, kosher salt, and bread flour. Either by hand or with a dough hook, combine and fold in cheese. Carefully watch your mixer if using it to mix the dough, and only use it until dough comes together into a ball, about 5 minutes.
Bread flour has a higher protein content than all purpose flour, so the dough will become very strong. If using a stand mixer, the dough will overpower your mixer if kneaded for too long. After the dough is formed, knead it by hand. This step is critical. Knead for about 5 minutes.
Pinch the dough into two parts. Continue pinching the dough in half until you have eight equal pieces of dough. Knead each one and roll into a ball.
Line two baking sheets with parchment paper. Place four balls of dough on each pan, spreading them apart equidistantly. Flatten the ball gently with your hand so it's about the 4" in diameter.
Using a chopstick, the end of a spatula, or your finger, push a hole in the center of the dough that goes all the way through. You might need to lift up the dough to get a clean hole.
Dampen paper towels and wring them out. Gently place the moistened towels on the bagel dough to cover them loosely.
Preheat your oven to 175°F / 80°C. Once it reaches that temperature, turn off the oven. Place both pans in the warmed oven. Allow dough to rise for one hour.
Once dough has risen, you can prepare to boil it. In a large pot (preferably large enough to hold four bagels) add honey, salt, baking soda, and then fill half way up with water. Bring to a boil.
Preheat oven to 425°F / 220°C.
Boil bagel dough in batches, 2-4 at a time. Boil for one minute per side. Return the boiled dough to the parchment-lined baking pans.
Once all dough has been boiled, brush with egg white and top with more shredded cheese. Bake for 20 minutes on the middle rack. Only bake one pan in the oven at a time.
After baking, allow to cool on the pan for 10 minutes before transferring to a wire cooling rack to cool for another 10 minutes. Then you are free to slice, toast, slather with butter or cream cheese, and EAT IT.

Keyword bagel, breakfast, panera copycat bagel

Hot Pink Bars

February 7, 2021 by Alex

Okay, I gave you guys the grapefruit bars last week and triple chocolate brownies earlier, but I couldn’t resist another adorable, pink-themed dessert for the upcoming V-Day.

I’ll preface by saying my husband does not like fruity desserts at all. To him, it’s chocolate or bust. Caramel, butterscotch, cheesecake, and Twinkies are also fine, thank you very much. But people, Jim loves these bars.

He describes them as a smoother, dessert version of Trix cereal or a Starburst. I think they taste like a strawberry milkshake. Whatever way you find to describe your delicious, the color is pretty rad. And it all comes from…JELL-O! Yup. This recipe is probably 100% full of highly processed foods, but I shrug my shoulders at that fact every now and then. I mean, I eat McDonald’s and Papa John’s Pizza.

So if you’re fine excusing hoity-toity-ness for a couple of days, this is a really fun dessert to whip up! And the red JELL-Os gave me this awesome color. Cherry, raspberry, or strawberry. Yum, yum, yum. Like Kool-Aid in a wax bottle circa 1997.

The bars are like a hot pink, Malibu Barbie magenta. I used a very light filter in my photos to even out the lighting, but the color of the bars is pretty much the exact same.

I actually clipped this recipe from a Taste of Home magazine Jane sent me home with a few weeks ago. I modified a few things, and the recipe is actually considered a summer dessert, but I am pretty sure raspberry, strawberry, and cherry JELL-O have a peak season of…let me check…all year round.

This recipe kind of reminds me of the 1950’s JELL-O molds you’d imagine housewives bringing to their new neighbors or a mysterious green Watergate salad. It’s the same idea of turning JELL-O into something smooth and creamy.

I brought these bars over to Sunday night dinner at Jim’s parent’s house and his dad said he’d be content to just eat the filling! (I agree. Imagine a fluffy, whipped yogurt-y version of a strawberry Starburst. That graham cracker crust, though…)

Similar to the chocolate-covered raspberry marshmallows, these are a fun Valentine’s Day treat, but Cupid doesn’t have exclusive rights to them! These would be perfect for a girl’s night out, a girl’s birthday party, a bachelorette party, or anything else tending towards hot pink.

You can also change out the JELL-O flavor and make it bright blue raspberry or lime. Or make it teal with blue raspberry lime. Have fun with it and let me know what you think of the recipe!

Hot Pink Bars

Strikingly magenta like a Malibu Barbie dress and sweet like a strawberry milkshake or a cherry-flavored Starburst. This recipe one-ups the 1950's JELL-O mold for a fun, hot pink treat perfect for birthday parties, baby showers, bachelorette parties, or Valentine's Day!

Print Recipe Pin Recipe

Prep Time 30

Chill Time 2

Total Time 2 30

Course Dessert

Servings 24

Ingredients

2 sleeves Graham crackers ~16 cracker sheets
8 tbsp Salted butter melted
6 oz Strawberry JELL-O 3 oz Cherry JELL-O + 3 oz Raspberry JELL-O also work
1 cup Boiled water
¼ cup Lemon juice
1 cup Heavy whipping cream
½ can Sweetened condensed milk ~ 8 oz
7 oz Marshmallow fluff
4 oz Cream cheese softened

Instructions

Line a 9" x 13" pan with parchment paper. Grind up graham crackers in a food processor until fine crumbs. Drizzle in melted butter to moisten the crumbs. Press into prepared pan and allow to chill in refrigerator.
Whisk together gelatin, hot water, and lemon juice in a bowl. Set in refrigerator, ~20 minutes.
In a large bowl, whip heavy whipping cream until stiff. Add marshmallow fluff and whip to combine. Add in sweetened condensed milk and cream cheese. Finally add in strawberry gelatin. Note: If there are tough, leathery pieces of gelatin, discard them. This sometimes happens with the acidity of the lemon interacting with the gelatin.
Transfer the mixture into the prepared pan. It will still be a liquid. Place in refrigerator to allow it to set. Chill for at least two hours.
To cut these squares cleanly, use the parchment paper overhang to lift and transfer the bars to a cutting board. Then, use a sharp, long knife and press straight down into the bars and drag the knife out through the bottom to avoid dragging crumbs up to the top. Wipe knife off between cuts. Cut into 24 squares. Garnish with berries and/or more whipped cream.

Keyword bachelorette party, Barbie pink, fruity dessert, Galentine's Day, hot pink dessert, strawberry milkshake, Valentine's Day

Chocolate-Covered Raspberry Marshmallows

February 7, 2021 by Alex

I know I’ve already expressed my strong disdain for chocolate covered strawberries in February, so I’ll cut to the chase and say these chocolate-covered raspberry marshmallows are my stand-in.

I love homemade marshmallows. Just the thought of them reminds me of my mother-in-law, Jane, listening to her mother-in-law suggest that she make homemade marshmallows among other putzy, time-consuming things not suited to the life of a busy mom! We get a good kick out of those stories! Though, to my grandmother-in-law’s credit, they actually are not that difficult to make! You just need some putzy-inclined tools.

Homemade marshmallows are also extremely versatile and fun to dress up. Extracts and food colorings allow you to make any kind of themed marshmallow imaginable. These are baby pink raspberry marshmallows covered in dark chocolate and raspberry vanilla. You could easily make mint green (or Bailey’s flavored…) chocolate covered marshmallows for St. Patrick’s Day! Or dark blue marshmallows with red and white chocolate drizzle for the Fourth of July! I’ve even heard of lilac-colored lavender-flavored marshmallows. Perfect for Easter! So many fun ways to play with the flavors and get the satisfying colors for our Instagramming world.

Guys, these are seriously a great substitute for chocolate covered strawberries and they have a much longer shelf life. You can make them for or with your Valentine for a fun date! (Be warned they have to dry out for a few hours before enjoying, though!)

I went the lazy route by drizzling the chocolate over the marshmallows at large, but you could definitely individually dunk them in dark chocolate and drizzle them with the white raspberry sauce. That is putzy. And it is a true labor of love if you do that; I’d like to see pictures of it if you do.

By the way, marshmallows go very well with pink champagne. Just saying.

What’s great about this recipe specifically is that while I’m posting it around Valentine’s Day, it can also work for anything pink-themed! Watching the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show with your girlfriends? Observing Breast Cancer Awareness Month at work? Hosting a bridal or baby shower? These raspberry pink marshmallows are the perfect little *extra* treat you can use to wow everyone!

You can also just stop at marshmallows sans chocolate drizzle. They are perfect on their own, too. Don’t mind me cleaning that whisk out with a spoon. Mmm.

Chocolate Covered Raspberry Marshmallows

A serious upgrade on the Valentine's Day standard chocolate covered strawberries.

Print Recipe Pin Recipe

Prep Time 30

Cook Time 30

Resting Time 4

Total Time 5

Course Dessert

Servings 16

Equipment

Stand mixer with whisk attachment
Candy thermometer

Ingredients

Marshmallows

½ cup Cornstarch
½ cup Powdered sugar
3 packets Knox unflavored gelatin
½ cup Ice cold water
1½ cups Sugar
1 cup Light corn syrup
¼ tsp Kosher salt
½ cup Water
½ tsp Raspberry extract
½ tsp Vanilla extract
2-3 drops Red food gel

Chocolate Streaks

10 oz Dark chocolate flavored melting discs Ghirardelli or Godiva
10 oz White vanilla flavored melting discs Ghirardelli
3 drops Red food gel
¼ tsp Raspberry extract
¼ cup Mini semi-sweet chocolate chips for garnish

Instructions

Marshmallows

Spray a 9" x 9" pan with non-stick cooking spray. Coat the sprayed pan with powdered sugar and cornstarch. (*You can sift them together and sprinkle them all over the pan over the sink. That's easiest for cleanup!)
Make sure the pan is completely coated with the powdered sugar and cornstarch mix as this prevents the marshmallows from sticking to the pan.
Repeat the process of spraying with non-stick spray and coating with powdered sugar and cornstarch with a silicone spatula.
Set pan and spatula aside.
In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine 1/2 cup ice cold water with 3 packets of unflavored gelatin. Return bowl to stand mixer and secure into place. Insert the whisk attachment but do not turn on mixer.
In a medium, heavy-bottomed sauce pot, combine sugar, corn syrup, 1/2 cup of (regular) water, and kosher salt. Turn heat to medium. Cover for 3-4 minutes.
Remove lid and clip in candy thermometer. Bring to 240°F / 115°C. Then immediately remove from heat.
Turn on the stand mixer speed to low with the whisk attachment inserted. Slowly drizzle in the hot sugar syrup down the side of the bowl. Once all of the syrup is in the stand mixer bowl, turn the speed up to medium-high for 12-15 minutes.
In the final minute of high-speed whipping, add in the raspberry extract, vanilla extract, and red food coloring or gel.
Using the powder-coated silicone spatula, transfer the marshmallow fluff into the prepared pan. Even the surface with the spatula so it is a flat as possible. Then sprinkle more cornstarch and powdered sugar over the top.
Let the marshmallows rest in the pan for four hours.
When ready to cut, invert them out of the pan onto a cutting board. Spray a knife with non-stick spray and coat with powdered sugar and cornstarch. Cut into 16 squares and then quarter each square. Each new side that is exposed after cutting will need to be sprinkled with powdered sugar and cornstarch.
Line a large jelly roll pan with wax paper and place marshmallows about 1/4" apart from each other in rows.

Chocolate Streaks

Melt dark chocolate discs and white vanilla discs in two separate bowls in 30-second increments.
Once vanilla discs have melted, add in raspberry extract and red food coloring / gel.
Using a drinking glass, open a quart-sized Ziplock bag and fold the zip top over the rim of the glass. Transfer the melted chocolate into the bag, pull out of the drinking glass, and seal. Repeat method for the pink raspberry melted discs.
Snip a small hole in the corner of each bag. Pipe first the melted chocolate over the marshmallows, then the pink raspberry vanilla. Sprinkle mini chocolate chips over. Once the chocolate has hardened, you can enjoy!

Notes

It helps to make the cornstarch and powdered sugar mixture in a big tupperware container. You may find a 1/2 cup of each is not enough. As long as it is in equal parts, use as needed. Depending on how you cut your marshmallows, you may need more or less.

Keyword chocolate covered fruit, homemade marshmallow, raspberry marshmallow

Triple Crown Brownies

February 7, 2021 by Alex

Personally, Valentine’s Day food is all about the chocolate for me. The more chocolatey the dessert, the higher its status in my book.

Chocolate chunks, chocolate sauce, chocolate fudge, hot fudge, brownie bites–I could drool on and on forever.

Brownies are such a quick way to my heart, and to Jim’s, too, it turns out! We DEVOUR these because a) they taste like boxed brownies but b) they’re not and that makes them better and c) they are triple chocolate. Brownies are chocolate by nature, but these also have chocolate chunks and fudge frosting. It is thick frosting, too. Like a half inch tall. Hello, love of my life!

Oh, and d) they come together in 45 minutes–35 of which is spent baking. Plenty of time for us to watch an episode of Space Force.

Since I’ve been really busy making all these special Valentine’s Day desserts for the blog lately, we will probably end up having a little bit of each of them for our Valentine’s Day celebration. It’s our first as a married couple! Actually, it’s our first ever. We have always been apart on past Valentine’s Days! I was in the Philippines with my mom on Valentine’s Day in 2019, and I was on a work trip in Colorado last Valentine’s Day. But I did manage to surprise Jim by taking him to see Twelfth Night at the Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis the next day!

Recently I have let down my barriers and invited Jim into the kitchen to cook with me. This is a big deal alert. I have major control issues in my kitchen! Like, “Are you going to mince that garlic a little more?” kind of issues. But when we worked together to make Parisian gnocchi and chocolate lava cakes…it was really, really fun!!!

It’s a little scary that this is surprising to me. I married the man! Of course we have fun together!

So this Valentine’s Day we will be making filet mignons, mashed potatoes, and some kind of roasted vegetable. I love getting his input (most of the time…) and I’m really glad we have started cooking together.

Jim has claimed now that these brownies are his favorite dessert that I make. Into the Arsenal! I developed the recipe over quarantine last year when we were really craving brownies. Jim said, “The highest compliment I can pay these brownies are that they taste like boxed brownies,” which is a pretty high compliment from ol’ Jimbo. They are classic, chocolate-y, and rich. And I like them because they are really easy to whip up!

Triple Crown Brownies

Alex

Three times the chocolate in the most supreme vehicle for dessert: the brownie! A perfectly chocolatey brownie batter hosts rich chocolate chunks and a fudge frosting.

Print Recipe Pin Recipe

Prep Time 10

Cook Time 35

Total Time 45

Course Dessert

Servings 16

Ingredients

Chocolate Chunk Brownies

2 oz. Bittersweet chocolate Ghirardelli or Baker's Bar
¼ cup Salted butter
1 cup Sugar
¾ cup Flour
6 tbsp Cocoa powder good quality, such as Rodelle or Valrhona
1 tsp Vanilla extract
1 tsp Fine sea salt
1 Egg + 1 egg yolk
¼ cup Vegetable oil
¼ cup Whole milk
½ cup Semi-sweet chocolate chunks or chips

Chocolate Fudge Frosting

6 tbsp Unsalted butter softened
1 ¼ cups Powdered sugar sifted if lumpy
¼ cup Cocoa powder good quality, such as Rodelle or Valrhona
¼ cup Sour cream
1 oz Bittersweet chocolate melted
1 ½ tsp Vanilla extract
¼ tsp Fine sea salt

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350°F / 175°C.
Grease a 9" x 9" pan with non-stick spray or butter.
Optional: If you plan to remove the brownies from the pan after baking and plate them (as opposed to leaving them in the pan for storage) insert parchment paper with a slight overhang. This will help pull the brownies out of the pan.
In a small, microwave-safe bowl, melt the chocolate and butter together in 30-second intervals. Cool slightly.
In a large bowl combine the remaining ingredients. Add the melted butter and chocolate to it and stir with a strong whisk or spatula, about 20-25 churns.
Pour brownie batter into the prepared pan. Use a spatula to smooth it out and ensure the batter is evenly distributed.
Place pan on middle rack in oven. Bake for 35 minutes, or until the brownies do not jiggle when the pan is shaken. Do not over bake! Cool completely before frosting.

Chocolate Fudge Frosting

In a small, microwave-safe bowl, melt chocolate in 30-second intervals.
In a large bowl cream butter, cocoa powder, and powdered sugar. Add in sour cream, melted chocolate, vanilla, and salt.
Spread frosting onto cooled brownies and cut into squares.

Notes

This recipe is very easily doubled and made in a 9" x 13" pan.

Keyword brownie extreme, extra chocolatey brownies

Charred Scallion Artichoke Dip

January 29, 2021 by Alex

Maybe you have the same problem I have. I buy one bunch of green onions, use one of them for a salad, and then am left with 9 green onions that wilt in the vegetable drawer. Finally an answer came to me. They’re just miniature onions! After trimming the bulbs, I tossed them in olive oil, salt, and pepper, and charred them in a cast iron skillet under the broiler for a few minutes. Then puréed ’em to get a green onion jam going.

FYI, this can be a rather clumsy dip recipe because I use two whole artichokes. Have you ever cut up your own artichoke? Talk about a pain in the butt! First, you have to trim the pointy tips. Then you steam it. Once it’s cool enough to handle, you pluck off the leaves one by one and scrape the tiny bit of artichoke off the base of each leaf. Once you get towards the center, the leaves get smaller and this gets more difficult to do (and I end up just tossing these leaves because I have my own putzy limits). Finally you make it to the heart which is a hairy little bugger. You can trim the hair off (or not) and chop the heart into little pieces. Then do the other artichoke. Ha. Or just buy a can of artichoke hearts and save yourself the time. (I highly recommend buying it!)

Toss in some cheese, cayenne, nutmeg, mayo and sour cream and you’ve got it going on. You might say this makes a super bowl of dip.

Ingredients

8 green onions (scallions)
Olive oil, salt, and pepper
2 artichokes, trimmed, steamed, and hearts chopped // Alternatively, a can or jar of artichoke hearts works too!
2 cloves of garlic
1/2 tbsp lemon zest
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup sour cream
4 oz cream cheese
1 egg yolk
1/2 oz vodka (optional–if you omit it, you might have to skim some fat off the top after baking)
A few zips of nutmeg ~scant 1/8 tsp
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1/4 tsp fine sea salt
4 oz shredded gruyere cheese
2 tbsp grated Parmesan cheese

Process

Turn on broiler and place a cast iron skillet under it to preheat it for 10 minutes.

Trim 8 green onions and toss with extra virgin olive oil, salt, and pepper. Place in heated cast iron skillet and broil (4 inches from burner) until charred, about 8 minutes.

In a food processor combine charred green onions, artichoke hearts, garlic cloves, lemon zest, mayo, sour cream, cream cheese, egg yolk, vodka, nutmeg, cayenne, salt, and gruyere. Process on low until well combined.

Spoon into a 16 oz casserole dish and top with Parmesan. Bake at 400F / 200C for 35 minutes. Should be bubbly and Parmesan golden.

Serve warm with crackers.

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